Bridesmaids

What is wrong with the America public?!

Bridesmaids was pegged as the "Female Hangover". The trailers made this movie out to be a raunchy laugh-fest that could only be seen in theaters. I am going to be straight with you. It is NOT!

Instead, you get a poorly outlined "coming to terms with one's sad and pathetic life while watching your best friend's life getting better" type movie. Most of the scenes seem like a bunch of awkward SNL skits that lose context soon because they go on way too long. The type of scenes that would never happen in real life nor would anyone involved in these scenes allow themselves to continue being apart of them.  The worst part is that most of the funny parts you see in the trailers are not even in the movie. Also, the trailer talks about them all going to Las Vegas to cause that glorious "Hangover Havoc" only this time with them all females. Well guess what? It doesn't happen! They don't even go to Las Vegas. It's merely talked about. What wasn't it within the budget? Couldn't the film makers get the permits? No, it was written that way to make the movie more sad and pathetic.

I feel swindled by this movie. It was a pure bait and switch. I was expecting gut-busting laughter, instead I got a drawn out, no substance romantic slash gaining one's self-esteem dramedy. I will now have to double check my pockets because I believe I was just robbed of 125 minutes of life.

Here's the real shitty part. By the surrounding laughter that I could hear from the other audience members, people actually liked it. WTF!! I will admit that there were a few funny moments, mostly involving Melissa McCarthy. Her character was good. She was over the top but also somewhat believable. You get a sense that her character wasn't going to take shit from anyone, and that she was sick of trying to live up to that perfect female image. This could be a real person. Also, as the movie progressed, it seems more scenes were written for her as the center, and less scenes involving all of the characters in a group. Wasn't this movie called Bridesmaids? It should actually be renamed as Single Woman in Impossible Situations Involving a Wedding. Maybe it is too long of a title.

Finally, here's the problem with America. People will go to this movie. People will pretend to like this movie. People will also recommend that their friends see this movie. And people will continue to allow Judd Apatow jam this shit down their throats. Well all this needs to stop right here, right now. Is Kristen Wiig a funny person? Possibly yes. She is alright for the SNL skits, but she can't keep my interest for two hours. Congrats to both Kristen and Judd, you were able to steal my $10.50. I wish you luck with all your future endeavors.

I rank this movie as w - Weak, and I want my money back. I recommend you never see this movie, but if you do, rent it some rainy day in the very distant future. Funny thing,  I was going to go see Priest, but I decided to follow the better rated movie by rotten tomatoes. It only shows you that even the supposed experts don't know shit just like the rest of America.

Thor

For he who is worthy to lift this hammer shall possess the power of Thor.

Unfortunately I was not able to move it a smidge. It would be wise of you to test your might and go see Thor. By the power of Mjolnir, what a way to start the summer blockbuster season.  (Update in the morning for I am tired and I need my Odinsleep)

After a much needed Odinsleep, I am back to give you all a complete review of the Summer's first movie.

Thor is a mythical character based on Old Norse legends that were very popular during the Viking Age. He lives along with all of the other gods of the universe in a Realm called Asgard that is at the top of all other realms known to make up the entire universe. This is known as the Tree of Life, or World Tree, named Yggdrasil. To try to understand Thor's world, Asgard and the 9 Realms (including Earth, known as Midgard) as a avid comic reader is hard enough. You need a lot of imagination. So how does a movie help the non comic reading audience relate to an idea of a mythical world that can be reached only by rainbow bridge. Easy, Science Fiction.

I now have a better understanding of the inter-workings of the world of Thor because this movie has based it in the possibility of science fiction. The writers broke the mythical legends down into concepts that help prove modern day science thinking and made Thor possibly a real person. This is what I thought was going to be the hardest part of telling this story as a movie. I was blown away on how simple it was to accept. As simple as accepting Captain Kirk can be transported from his spaceship to another planet. It is believable because we desire to progress as a civilization and reach for the stars. What is the stars could reach back?

With that said, I think this movie hits on all marks. The cast is exceptional. I thought the character development might have a problem because there were so many to introduce, but I was proven wrong on that point. The main characters were given plenty of time to develop while the supporting characters were brought in as separate story lines that all tie together to the main storyline surrounding Thor. Basically, Thor is not needed in every scene to make the supporting characters work as it should be. I know it sounds logical but you be surprise how many movies can't accomplish this.

Since it is a fantasy movie, the fighting scenes are based on fantasy but are very believable as you watch it. Come on it is fantasy! It is ok that Thor flies with a hammer and beats up giant frost men from another realm. You'll enjoy it, pure and simple.

As for the upcoming Avengers movie, the writers and Marvel have done a great job of  beginning to intertwine all their movies. You will see small surprises that help push the Avengers together. I'm not going to ruin these for you, but you will see them and then understand what I am talking about. If Thor has anything to show for how good Avengers could be, I quote Samuel L. Jackson, "Hold onto your butts".

Thor is fun and entertaining. It doesn't go over your head. At the end you will understand that Thor can and does exist. You will be excited to see the next coming films. I think Marvel has done it again. Ironman has been made a popular icon and the same will happen with Thor. Thor is this year's Ironman. It is a surprise hit that we as comic book fans were all hoping for. It is easy to say the Marvel has their shit together. They are not going to half ass telling their stories. Let's all hope the trend continues onto Captain America later this year. If Thor is a sign of what is to come, I am even more stoked to see this year's summer blockbusters.

As for a rating, Thor teeters on the edge of Awesome and Legendary. Last night right after the movie I would have say yes straight to the top, but today I started thinking how it there is more to be done. I want my mind to so elated after the movie that there is no question. Thor gets an A for Awesome.

Go see this movie right away!!!

Finally....SLMR HAS COME BACK....to....

Ignore 2010. SLMR failed miserably.

Regardless, I'm getting the band back together. This year is going to much different. SLMR will go further that it has ever gone before starting tonight. I am leaving right now to see Fast Five, and when I return the most electrifying movie review will be posted for all the millions and millions to witness. Stay Tuned!!!

Update: 10:30pm Well Thanks to the announcement of the Death of Osama Bin Laden, I missed the movie start time. Mainly because I was too interested in hearing about the details surrounding that happening than to go to see Fast Five. So since it is Sunday night and I am not going to the movie and most likely I won't be able to catch it during the week this review has been put on hold. Maybe I'll catch it next weekend and give another official update. I really only wanted to see The Rock and Vin Diesel fight scene anyways. Maybe I'll sneak in after the next movie viewing.

Until then...Thor is next on the list.

SLMR is Back!!!!

Welcome back to the show!

Sorry I was gone for so long. I got lost in my own mind and neglected my love for movies. It felt like a part of myself faded into a fog of death just waiting for the day all the light would brake through it all. The light has come.

I was going to start back up last week with Wolfman, yet the mind was still a bit shaky. Wolfman was basically a reinvented monster movie. Mysterious deaths....man searches for the supernatural cause...man gets attacked....man because the monster....monster along with "loved ones" stop monster.  That's about it. It was an entertaining movie. Nothing to praise about though. I liked it although it leaves a door open for a sequel, but I don't see the point.

On to the real movie....


Shutter Island




To quote my bro JipMix, "What a mind fuck!"

I don't think Martin Scorsese can't make a bad movie. That is coming from a Scorsese fan. He's created a great film noir movie that is intense completely throughout. I like film noir. I wish there was more film noir releases these days. Although I believe that a lot of directors try it but fall on their asses. This movie wasn't like any of those; it was the real deal. You can feel from the very beginning. The way the first scene was shot. How the score was overpowering, driving the tone of the movie. Also the time period the movie was set helps create the mood. I just don't think our modern day of cell phones and computers fit in the film noir realm. (exception being Sin City....oops!)

Leonardo DiCaprio delivers an amazing performance. Every time I go to one of his films I think about how strange it to seem him all grown up. How did this boy become such a great actor? And like always I completely forget that he is even an actor about 2 minutes into it. He has that strange ability to make you feel like you are watching him for the first time. I believe in his character so much that when it comes to the twist in the movie I don't know what side is the truth. Speaking of the twist. Holy shit!! You will not know which way is up.

Okay, if you haven't read this blog before you will realize about now that I don't deliver spoilers. (Not usually) I don't claim to be a film expect. I just like watching movies and discussing about them afterward. I only give my own insights that develop from watching movies. In fact I probably don't even really know what I am talking about. This is just a fun medium for me to do so. If anything I am simply an average man giving suggestions to watch a new movie or not.

Shutter Island gets an E for Entertaining. There is not going to a huge public following on this movie, mainly because it makes one think. Most people hate thinking movies. I love them. Go to Shutter Island, that is my "suggestion".

Feel free to make your own comments. Again, I want to have a discussion. I welcome it. 2010 is going to be the year I stick to updating this blog....I promise.

Star Trek

This is not your father's Star Trek



Re-boots of movie franchises are all the craze these days. And it seems that only a few are not living up to their hype. Now I'm not a trekkie. I did like most of the older Star Trek films but I was never one to memorize all the various technologies of the Star Trek universe and/or dress up as a Vulcan (although I have thought that it would be fun). I just like watching the movies. KHANNNNNNN!!!!!!!

Well, after watching the new Star Trek, I now know that I don't need to be a trekkie to be a fan. This movie is did a great job at re-booting. I know...I know there are alot of old fans who are saying that there are continuity errors (regarding the Star Trek universe) in this movie, but I say WHO CARES! This movie will give the franchise life again!

The story is all that you would predict from the trailer. How did the original crew get together? I like the way the story started with the parallel lives of Kirk and Spock heading toward Star Fleet. Speaking of Kirk and Spock, I am still on the fence about Chris Pine, but Zachary Quinto is the new SPOCK. I never once looked at him and thought of Syler. He had giant shoes to fill but I believe he did a great f'ing job.

Other great performances go to Karl Urban and Erin Bana. From the first Dr. McCoy rant I knew he would be the best supporting character in the movie. It was just fun to watch him go off about the insanity of space and all things they were attempting to do. Brilliant! As for Bana, I like him as a villain. He should look for more roles as a villain, cus they're just fun.

Let's talk about the action. Oh Boy! lots of it! Everyone seems to get a chance to kick some ass.
Even Solo is cool as shit.

I give it an A - Awesome. Re-booting complete. Look forward to future of the franchised to blast off!

Snikt!

Wow! What a way to start the summer this year is going to be awesome!



X-Men Origins: Wolverine was everything you want it to be. Jam packed with action. Great scenes with funny dialogue. Wolverine carving up everybody. I tried to count how many times he extended his claws....I lost count somewhere around twenty seven.

If you are a comic book fan, you'll love this movie. The storyline ties well into most of the comic book material. There are a few variations but nothing that doesn't make you hate them for destroying your beloved titles. Hugh Jackman is great as Logan/Wolverine. He works great as the unleashed animal, and he can get deep into the emotional side of Logan. Everyone knows that Wolverine does his job well, but there has to be more to him than just cutting people up. Jackman balances it well. This role is his until the end of time!

Most believed that X-Men movies couldn't work because there are so many characters. Well the first X-Men proved that wrong and so did this movie. There were so many Mutants name drops and cameos it was hard to keep up. There was Sabertooth, Cyclops, Emma Frost, Blob, Agent Zero, Wraith, Gambit, Silverfox, Bolt, Professor X, Quicksilver, and even Deadpool was said. The thing is that the story kept the many characters to small roles and focused on Wolverine. It made everything tie in better. No time wasting on who these people are. If you know them then you will know when it was said. Sorry general non-comic book reading public.

Still it is a great action movie. I think a lot of people will like it. If not they are mental or something. Now as most readers know I don't like to give too much away here. I mainly says a simple "Like" or "Dislike" with a few more words. When you see this movie sit throughout all the credits. There are multiple special endings that will be played at different screenings. I am going again to see the other endings....along with counting the Snikt's

A- Awesome! See it right away! Only because next week Star Trek comes out. And it looks crazy good!!!!!

Who Watches the Watchmen

Travelin' Miles Journal March 6, 2009

Watchmen finally opens in theaters.



The viewing public will shout, "We don't get it!" and I'll whisper, "No! you won't!"

Watchmen is not a movie; it is an experience. If you are not a fan of the book then mostly likely you will not like this movie. It is not your typical "super-hero" film. It is more like a film adaptation. You will not have a hero verses villain plot line. There will be no evil plan that the heroes must stop. Instead you will get a story that inner-connects all the characters across time starting with the death of one of the main characters.

I've read the Watchmen graphic novel a couple of times. The first time I finished it, I was blown away. I wished that I was old enough to remember the 80's so I could put more perspective on it. This new movie has helped me do that. The movie isn't as much about the cold war and nuclear destruction as the book. The movie is about the lives of people trying to make the world better even if it is through super hero means.

This is not your grandpa's superhero movie. Viewing public listen to me. Do not take your kids to this one. It is rated R! Hell most adults will not like what they see in this movie. You will see one hero trying to rape another hero. The will be a blue man that walks around naked for the most of the time. The heroes do more talking about running around stopping criminals that actually doing it.

DO NOT SEE this film if you're not a fan! You will hate it. You will not understand the story. It will be too "all-over-the-place" for you. It will seem slow. It will seem boring. It will not entertain you. If you are not a fan there is no way for me to argue it's importance. I won't even try.

Now, if you are a fan. Then enjoy watching your favorite book come to life.

Watchmen is an A - Awesome, not because it has great shots or action scenes, not because it has great dialogue, no it is because the emotion you feel when you finally see the movie made from a book that was said could never happen. I am bias, I know that. I don't care. I liked the movie. Most likely you will not. I am ok with that. It wasn't made for you. It was made for all of the fans of the Watchmen.


"God, help us all" - The Comedian