Snow White and The Huntsman

You may have remembered this film in glorious Technicolor



Well this new movie is not your mother's Snow White.

Snow White and the Huntsman is yet another 'retelling' of the legendary story. It wants to be tougher, grittier version, but I'm not sure if it gets that accomplished. I felt that the makers of this movie wanted to make two movies, but they didn't have completely enough material so they just jammed everything into this one. In doing so, I feel that there was no character development what so ever for any character. I didn't care what happened to anyone. Some characters die yet I had no time to even grow a connection to care.

Whether or not you like Kristen Stewart, I just can't watch her act. She always has the same look on her face, where she drops her jaw and slightly opens her mouth. All I do is just stare at her two buck teeth. It also seemed that there were way to many shots of just her face in the movie. Also her character goes from naive girl to badass warrior in flip of a switch. No training. No coaxing. She's ready to go; she's ready to lead an attack. Don't worry about it.

Also thanks to the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, little people are now being replaced by normal people for dwarf roles in fantasy movies. This must really piss off Peter Dinklage. I like how this was done in the LOTR, but if they start doing this in every movie, then audiences may start to bore of it.

So this retelling is suppose to make you believe that Snow White could be more than a fairy tale. They even added a big battle scene (which was very short) and war to help make it feel more realistic. Yet they give you no reason to care if they win the battle other that Snow White is goooood and Evil  Queen is baaaad. There needed to be some heart felt conflict. Some type of realization point that the Evil Queen needs to be defeated by Snow White. There are so many things I want to tell you about this movie that just doesn't make any since, but I promised that I will not give out spoilers.

Instead I will suggest you see Snow White and the Huntsman, but you may want to wait for the DVD release. I give it l - Lame. It was almost Entertaining but I just can't get pass how they tried to jam so much into the movie. Although, the film making was beautiful. Some of the scenes were amazingly crafted, yet there was no substance within the story to help.

Side note - Why would anyone want to watch a Katy Perry in 3D?

MIB 3

Back in 1997, we had this:



Then in 2002, we had this:



Now it's 2012 and we have this:


Now what's wrong with this picture?  That's right!  Albeit, "Back in Time" by Pitbull is a catchy track, a "Men in Black" movie just doesn't seem right without Will Smith providing the theme song for it!

When I first heard that MIB 3 was going into production, my inner 16 year old jumped for joy!  But then I started hearing rumors about production being plagued by creative differences, script rewrites, Will Smith being a bit a of a diva on set, etc.  Then the news of Pitbull providing the theme song hit and all hopes and dreams of a great movie came tumbling down.

Now here we are...May 25th 2012 and I just came out of the midnight showing...WOW!  The movie definitely captured the essence that made the first movie so great.  The chemistry between agents J & K is as witty as it was and even more so with a younger Agent K being played by Josh Brolin!  He got Tommy Lee Jones down to a T!  He nailed everything!  From his facial expressions, to the way he talked was spot on!  One of the things I liked about the MIB franchise was the movie's ability to include the aliens but not making them "all up in your face."  They just made them seem like they're part of everyday life, which they are in the MIB universe.  Seeing the Men in Black operation in the 60's was pretty cool.  They really tapped into the stereotypical, retro, science fiction alien looks too.  

Without spoiling too much of the traveling back in time plot to save Agent K, the movie definitely comes full circle.  In my opinion, fans of the franchise will be pleased.  I know I was.

I give this move an "A" for Awesome simply because in my opinion, it was.  The movie brings a viewer like me, a fan since the original, a sense of nostalgia.  It takes you "back in time," with an essence that makes you feel like your 16 again for a couple hours.

So grab your popcorn and cherry coke and get ready to time travel!

P.S.  Randomness: if you were to put all the theme song titles together you'd come up with "Here come the Men in Black" while you "Nod ya head" "Back in Time."

It's 4am, I'm tired...don't judge.  LOL!

Battleship

Now I know some people are going give me H-E-Double hockey sticks for saying this...but...Battleship was actually an enjoyable movie!  Let's just say this, check your brain in at the door and take the movie for what it is.  A summer movie with action, cheesy acting, & BIG explosions!  Oh yeah, can't forget the awesome scenery provided by the Hawaiian Islands!

How this board game...

...became this movie?  Is beyond me!  Hahaha

Despite the obvious fact that the movie has absolutely nothing to do with the game with the exception of actual Battleships, the movie will no doubt seem familiar.  From the main character's introduction a la "Con-Air", alien invasion in the vain of "ID4", the heroes in slow motion in the style of "Armageddon", the J.J. Abrams lens flares a la Star Trek though not as incessant.  And probably the most obvious of all..."Transformers!"  Well the same toy company that brought us Transformers also gave us kids of the 80's Battleship.  

To put it simply, if you're gonna critique the movie to death, why bother.  If you just want turn your brain off, and have fun at the movies then Battleship is the movie for you!  

I give the movie and "E" for entertained because that's exactly what it did....It entertained with  awesome special effects, great action scenes, & breathtaking Hawaiian Island scenery.

P.S.  Stay through the credits for a post credit scene...trust me, you'll have time to jam to the bathroom and come back.  

Wait til Next Year!!

So last week, I missed Battleship. I missed The Dictator. I was sick at home...all weekend, but did see one movie before my illness. More on that later. I guess I will get my chance to possibly see those two movies, although I am not hearing good things. I will get my second chance because G.I. Joe Retaliation, which was set to be released June 29, will now be pushed to release in March 2013.

Paramount has had the brilliant idea to rework G.I. Joe Retaliation so it will be in 3D. They also believe that by moving it to March they will get greater numbers much like The Hunger Games.

I believe this is crap!

How does Paramount think that moving a possible summer blockbuster out of the summer in any way is a good idea? If more people go to the movies in March than the summertime then this blog would be called Spring Legendary Movie Review. What happened to all those trailers and promos to get us pumped to see G.I. Joe? Why did they pay for  a very expensive spot to air a trailer during the Super Bowl? Will they re-rack it for next year's Super Bowl? This just pisses me off. Paramount only hopes to make slightly more money by converting this movie to 3D.

You want to know what this is really about? I believe Paramount sees that G.I. Joe comes out 4 days before Amazing Spider-Man and 3 weeks before The Dark Knight Rises, and they don't see any chance of making any type of profit. Yes, it is all about money. Movies in 3D have higher ticket prices. March 2013 is wide open with no competition. Yeah.... I'm sure this is a GREAT financial move for Paramount.

Moving on....

I did see Dark Shadows before I was stricken by illness. Now I am a fan of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, but man, I wish they would stop teaming up to make movies. I thought the movie was entertaining enough, but it really didn't have anything memorable about it. The story was very basic and most of the supporting cast was less that great. Depp was great as usual. Five minutes into the movie you sight of Depp and only see his character. He has a knack for that.

I thought it was E - Entertaining. It was funny at times. Since the movie was suppose to be a parody of a show in the 70's, I think it would have been better to have been released maybe ten years ago. I only say that because someone my age wouldn't remember the 70's, and we are the ones with all the money paying for these movies.

Next week, MIB III

Avengers Assemble!!!

After a long wait, the 2012 Summer Movie Season has arrived!

The season opens with probably one of the most anticipated movie team-ups of the summer. With years of planning, and five movies leading up to it, Marvel has finally released The Avengers!!

Back in 2008, when Iron Man was released, not many believed that a movie like Avengers would be possible. Doubters stated that Avengers has too many central characters with deep back stories and it couldn't be pulled off. Then Marvel decided to make a bunch of individual movies to help tell those stories of the central characters. Iron Man was a hit that hinted at the team-up, followed by Incredible Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor, and Captain America.

All these previous movies began laying the story path for Avengers by connecting the movies to each other with small cameo crossovers. Still doubters would say, "How do you get these characters to intermingle in one movie?"

Answer: Flawlessly

Without giving away too much of the movie, (I'm not going to describe scenes from the movie to you like most reviews. i.e. Entertainment Weekly) director Joss Whedon found a way merge all the characters together and make the movie flow. He did this by giving each character equal screen time. I didn't feel like one character was more important than another. Each had a pivotal role to play in the movie, and it shows.

RDJr was spectacular as Tony Stark/Iron Man, as usual. Chris Evans also plays Captain America superbly. I was really surprised by Scarlett Johansson. She had a more beefed up role in this movie, and her acting sold her character on many levels throughout the film.

The Avengers is witty and action packed. You will catch yourself getting more and more excited throughout the movie. I was very impressed on how the action scenes play out. It was like organized chaos. No punches are pulled everyone takes a beating.

So lets face it, if you have already seen the five previous Marvel movies, you are going to see The Avengers. You're sorta committed. Sprinkled throughout are hints form those other movies. So look for them.

I give The Avengers - A - Awesome!! I was close to going Legendary because they pulled out the ultimate team-up movie, and it is going to be hard to beat. (TDK just made the bar so damn high) This maybe a little bit too late, Go see The Avengers! IF you haven't seen the other Marvel movies? See those movies NOW!! Then go see Avengers. You don't want to be the only who hasn't, do you?


- note - I am much more of a fan of Iron Man now than I was when the first Iron Man film was released. Since my post from 2008, I've done a lot more back issue reading on the character. If you were wondering that is??

American Reunion

Are you ready for the Reunion? Dust off your old letterman's jacket, which doesn't fit anymore. Dig out your yearbook. It's time to go back in time of one night, or at least two hours by watching American Reunion.

For those who may have forgotten, the first movie of this series American Pie was released in 1999. To put that in perspective. Bill Clinton was U.S. President. The Euro was first established and immediately fell in value.  9/11 hasn't happened yet. Cell phones were merely wireless phones. Apple released its Power Macintosh G4. Gas prices were at $1.22 per gallon. TLC's "No Scrubs" was a top song. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? was the top show on TV. The Mandalay Bay opens in Las Vegas. I was 19.

Wow! I was only 19 years old. I remember watching American Pie and relating to the movie, because it corresponded with my own life. It was my first year in college, I was young and looking for girls. I just discovered the internet. Remember Napster?

American Reunion's whole point is to make you remember all of this. The final sequel of the series plays out pretty much exactly as the first. This movie feeds off the original. All the characters you remember return, along with all their jokes and (oh so) funny catchphrases. It doesn't quite get to the point that you'll think you've seen this movie before, but there will definitely be some familiarities. Jim (Jason Biggs) will extremely embarrass himself. Stifler (Seann William Scott) is still the biggest dick in the world. All of the other characters are pretty much exactly the same. Which makes you think, didn't anyone change in the past 13 years?

Oh yeah, it takes place at the 13th year high school reunion. What high school has a 13th year reunion?! The writers briefly explain this. Hoping that you won't care about the details, and just enjoy the movie throwback. A plot for this type of movie really isn't that important anyways. Merely get the characters together and let the hilarity begin.

I will admit that I did laugh out loud. It had its funnier moments. Although, after the movie was finished, I didn't think it was all that funny. Most of the scenes seemed forced and over the top. All the characters had their same conflicts with each other as the first film, expect, in the resolution, all characters involved came out in the positive. Can't there be one bad guy in this film?

I would say that if it wasn't for Eugene Levy who plays Jim's dad, the movie would have been awful. All the biggest laughs came within his scenes.

As for the 90's throwback, the movie did a good job of making you wishing for the past to return. All the same scenes were in the film, ex. Jim's Room. I wished the music was a bit better. It seemed they picked the worst soft pop hits we all claimed not to like.

I give American Reunion E - Entertaining. It was fun to see all the characters again. It wasn't as unforgettable as the original. Most sequels aren't, let alone the third sequel. I'm sure everyone in the theater was in my same age range. I doubt younger audiences will care for this movie. We're the one's with the money though, right? If you graduated high school between 1995 and 2002, you'll probably like this movie. I would recommend it, only if you were a fan of American Pie.

21 Jump Street

"21 Jump Street"...sounds familiar doesn't it? Well if you were born in and or grew up in the 80's, it should!...here's a refresher...

Remember that? Well, that's not what this review is going to be talking about...errr...reviewing. Let's fast forward about 25 years since the TV show first premiered to 2012 where a movie has been made based on the aforementioned TV show.

Now I know what you're probably already thinking. "Great! Another TV show made into a movie?!" "Hollywood has no more originality." Unless you're a girl, then it's more like..."OMG!! Channing Tatum is so hot! I'm totes gonna watch this movie!" Okay, both points of view hold true!...Yeah, I said it! That Tatum dude ain't too shabby looking!

PEOPLE! This is a "summer movie" warm up! In other words, all the ingredients for an enjoyable movie going experience is tossed into this smorgasbord of hilarity, action, a pinch of drama, & a couple surprises!

Surprisingly, the chemistry between Tatum and Hill work really well in the movie. The dumb jock/smart kid combo seems to fit both personas to a T. Without giving the movie away, I'll just say the laughs run rampant throughout the movie. The action scenes (well shot by the way) never feel like they were placed there for the sake of an action scene. And Ice Cube's performance as Capt. Dickson holds it's own among the likes of Beverly Hills Cop's Inspector Todd, Bad Boys' Capt. Howard, & dare I say Top Gun's Stinger!

To sum it all up, 21 Jump Street is a great, must see action/comedy that I highly recommend you go watch in the theaters! I give it an "Awesome" rating!

*Caution, this is the Red Band trailer. May be NSFW (not safe for work)